Tears

He had finished his morning study. His mother pampered him up and dressed him up neatly, ready for school. He remembered that he had homework in English and Maths that day, and he had managed to do it properly. He had remembered to pack his bags neatly to school. He was disciplined. With a great level of satisfaction and brimming with self confidence he started to school. School started at 8 45 - he was at school bright and early by 8 30. End of early morning prayer and everyone rushed to form part of the queue for the descent into the corridor. "Wow, a field trip, which exciting new place am i going to now?" he wondered.

In a podium, there were to be lined up, the wards of class 1 for the annual photo shoot. Prabhu being the tallest of the lot, was to occupy the last step of the podium towering at a height of 10 feet. Similar to all other infants, his natural reaction was to be afraid. He was scared, But he did not cry. "Why should I cry? Come on now, You can do this...". It was a harrowing experience, but he did manage to climb up the to the top of the podium. The tears came upto his eyelids, his eyes glistened, as the shot was taken. But he did not cry.


....

He took the long road that day to home. He was broken in spirit. He had just been fired from his job. What will he tell his wife? He did not have much to fall back upon. Not anything that'll last him more than a month. "How did it come to this?" he thought. He had been doing very poor at work and home lately. His demons had gotten the better of him. It is not easy now is it if the demons are of your mind. Once it gets control there is not letting go.

He crossed the street where one of his erstwhile lovers were there. "She s a w****". Their break up did n go well with him. He was left an emotional wreck for months. But she had managed to move on fairly quickly. Every time he saw her smiling, a sword went through his heart. "How could she do this to me?" he had thought. But that pain eased out, once they both parted ways after college was over. As time passed they had started seeing other people. Few years hence, both of them were married - to different people, "it does n matter anymore" he said to himself. His shoulders were down, so was his face, he did n look at the road as he walked, he did n care.

As he walked further on, came the juice shop. "Damn, this place still has that shake", he could n quite remember his favorite shake's name. He remembered his friends and him used to have such a great time there. Every Saturday night everyone would be there on the dot at 8 00 no matter what. Absenteeism was frowned upon. The next week would be on the absentee. No one defaulted, not for the penalty, but for the fear of missing the great time they would have the next five hours. There were not a lot of great places to party in chennai, but they knew all the places which knew how to throw a Saturday night party - the juice shop would be their assembly, straight to sachin's for some great north indian khana, after that it was black rock music - which housed the best dj in all of chennai, then it would be bessy, where they would sit for hours discussing the week that was, mocking each other, swearing at each other, and whole lot of other frivolities. Some of them boys even managed to have a glimpse in to some of the other girls' eyes (and vice versa), a brief moment, but a moment nonetheless. Then off to the juice shop where they would have each have their heart's fill of laughter and exotic concoctions, raise their glasses and call it a great week. "What was the name of that shake again?, dammit.". As all good things come to an end, so did their great weeks. Now each lived in a different corner of the earth. They hardly spoke to each other, each caught up in the grand and unique web that the world had spun for each of them. His heart did feel a little light on this reminiscence, but pain filled its place quickly enough."Why did those guys leave me. They were with me when i was happy, not even a single one is there to share my grief. That s the world for you."

The road was too long that day. He saw it extended on and on, there was no ending in sight. It was pitch black, there was naught but void there. There was no ending in sight. He was afraid to take that road. He had taken that road before and he knew where it lead him. He was afraid. His stood there eyes widened in horror, sweating, heart beating at a deadly pace. He panicked, struggling for breath. He felt he was about to collapse then and there and lie there forever. Peace at last. The peace he had always desired for - eternal sleep and eternal peace.

But the day was such that he would not even be granted his death wish. The moment had passed, and he was left naught but an empty shell, capable of shedding tears only.


It started to rain. Distant Thunders caught his ears. He Walked furhter exhausted, not knowing now where he was going, shoulders could n droop any lower. As he laboured on, he managed to catch a glimpse of a blue gate. There was some activity going on there in that place, some hauling, some renovation. It was his school. He could also recognise the watchman, who had managed to stay on there, even after all these years. He noticed that the entire school had got a makeover - a new basket ball court and tennis nets, new layers of paint, a bright shiny emblem of bronze alloy visible from till about 500 meters or so he guessed. As he was witnessing all this, he wondered why all this activity was going on deep into the night. He then remembered that it was school day the next day. School day was a grand occassion, a time of joy especially since that normal classes would be disrupted for an entire fortnight before the event. It was a time of great fun, the whole school would be working as a unit to make it a grand day. And more importantly, it was the where the annual photo shoot for the year book would happen. He laughed on thinking how he was afraid on climbing the podium to the last stair at about 10 feet. The students were supposed to be arranged in height order, and he was the tallest of the lot. It had taken nearly three to four photo shoots in order for him to shed his fear of the top step. His heart grew even heavier on this retrospection. Back to reality. . . he remembered that the podium used to be at the extreme right of the play ground at the south west corner. Would it still be there? Even before he could complete his question, he noticed that five to six men were hauling a large podium to the lorry which was meant for all the scrap. It was the same podium. He also noticed that a brand new steel podium had taken its place, bright and shiny with silver paint.

The moment had given him a final blow. He collapsed on his knee cap, holding his face in his hands - "How did it come to this?".
Even as he screamed "I want my life back", Tears rolled out uncontrolled, through his fingers, Thirty six long years, hence.

Forsaking and Friendship (Here is dealt Forsaking)

There i was in uncle's house. I had to stay there for what i initially believed to be a very long time. The Rain had flexed its bicep once again bringing the entire city to a standstill. Incessant rains had left the city flooded, its people floored. Terror were doing their bit by blowing up and killing Mumbai.. In a bad mood i was i d reckoned (Shortly afterwards. My Cosmic take on life had come to haunt me once again and with it came indifference, and thence as Mr S puts it I became more of a vegetable for the next two to three hours giving me ample time to reminisce and do other thinking stuff, night accompanied by rain providing the perfect ambience for thought).

The day had started out looking night due to the very dense cover of dark rain clouds.. There was lightning which illuminated the clouds like light bulbs on a dark terrace which flickered due to the poor supply of electricity. I wanted to take a ride on my bike that very moment. The very sombre weather and the sparse human prescence on the road proved too great a temptation to overcome. It could have been my bike that convinced me to ride her that day.. May be she knew that i wasn't going to ride her for quite a long time after that (A day was a long time between me and my bike considering we love each other. I see 'S' flexing his eye brows considering how poorly maintained the thing is!!).

What a ride it was. With the dark sky in the background and chill wind blowing against the face, i rode, rode like i v never ridden before, or after.. rode with all the happiness in the world without anyone between me, my bike and the road.

After the joy ride, i was to head out to work. A busy day was in store. We were operating on a special project during that time, one with deadlines impossible to.. hey but that is the kind of work i would love wouldn't I? where is the fun in others? I started on my bike again for work, counting as usual on it to deliver me to my destination on time and safe even as i had started late and even as the road was slippery due to the drizzle which would eventually mature into the monstrous incessant rain..

Destination reached and on time..

Even as we worked, chipping away at the huge workload, there was the rain outside bearing a constant spectator to whatever was going on in the city that day. It was lunch when we had realised that the rain was pouring down like hell and that it had not stopped for a whole five hours then. The rest of the day passed without much change.. It had been nine hours now and we were beginning to feel really concerned. Similar Rains a couple of days back had left all the city drains brimming and they could take no more it seemed. The entire city was flooded. Water anywhere u could look. My collegues - women constituting half of them, were being flooded with phone calls from their dear ones warning them to start early as water levels were beginning to raise drastically in most parts of the city and the roads had become inaccessible. Even my mom called a couple of times. I did n worry though. I had my trusted bike with me and asked my mother to start without me to home.. (she was close by to my workplace).

One by one the women began to depart as their near and dear had come to pick them up and for those who did not come the guys took it upon them to drive them safely to their homes. I was of course the last to leave after making sure that every one was secured. I bid a friend of mine adieu. He had no bike but his house was nearby and he could reach safely. I went down to the open parking lot where my bike was parked. There it stood like a warrior drenched in the sweat of battle. The rain had stopped for a breather. I caressed it gently, to wipe the sweat of it and got in position to ride her. The start lever i released and i kicked with the anticipation that it would start without any hassle.. The battle with the rain had gotten the better of it i d supposed. I tried my best to bring her back to life but i couldn't, not that day. I was forsaken, so was she.

I d felt totally shocked then realising that i had no where to go then. Water was everywhere (and not a drop to drink - I was rather dehydrated trying to kickstart my bike) and public / private transport were only remotely available. It was then when lightning struck and i realised that uncle's house was very nearby the work place. Though it wasn't a walkable distance i could manage to get there via private transport after getting robbed of my whatever money i had. I had a hard time making my mind up to leave my bike behind, we had never spent a night apart before that. But i had to do it for my sake, for our sake.And there I was in uncle's house.

Uncle's nephew had come over to keep me company. I after much effort, managed to get some sleep, not good sleep though.

The dawn had come and the rain had stopped its lashing of the city. But then there was still water everywhere.After some anxious moments as to whether we would work that day i got a message from boss .. who is a coook by the way.. advising us to stay at motherland and worse - he was trying to rhyme, in the process!!! He did a fairly good job to cheer me up though. Then after that call there was still this small task of getting me bike back. Considering i was totally put off on thinking what would have happened to my bike during the night, i kept constantly bickering with my uncle and aunt, trying to convince them that i should go and get my bike even though the city was completely flooded..




This is where came the unlikely hero. The man who d always sport a smile.

Friendship to be found at a future point in time in the tale. (considering time to be linear of course.)

Kneeling that ll be a problem.. btw i m still on a sabbatical.

You see i have a problem with that, My knees they just CAn't bend, so kneeling will be hard for me. (acknowledged: 300 the movie Leonidas vs Xerxes).
For those who get the message - good.
For those who cant - try harder.
For those who don't care - don't even bother just scroll past.

FU (Not so) C(ool).A(o).

Give me a break.

I would not consider myself an active blogger, not by a long shot. Yet this forum for interaction has been special, and unique in its own way. Learning has been great, still greater the learning from introspection. But as it stands, i v reached new low s in life - one where i never thought i would be. Beaten in my own game, been cheated in my own house of worship.

But here s the catch - I believe i can bounce back.

Therefore my readership, i sanction myself a temporary resignation from this status as a blogger - more of a sabbatical.

An important mission to accomplish, where i cannot fail. Not again. This mission now needs all my focus, my energy. For those who have waited, my sorry. I cannot say when i will be back. I hope it will be the sooner.

With Regret and lots of pain at heart.
Yours Truly

Here Walked a Champion

"....
...
..

He Fell. A Flash of thought. .."People Screaming, the body moving in dance, in trance, couples wound like mating snakes, two bodies one movement. They were rejoicing, their victory. And what a victory it was. What a relief. A 100 years the Reaper had been a frequent visitor... Too frequent.. too many loved ones lost, too many relationships broken. One moment of haste. One Moment of lust. Generations of suffering. But all this was the past, today they stood victorious, today life was good".

....
...
..

"So my lady, after all this effort, bittersweet is the result.KHAND is famished. Cursed never to be the same again. A fertile land once, now reduced to a wasteland". He realised then there were no winners in a WAR. None but the dead. "None the less, No body to challenge KHAND again, never again, as long as this flag flies high. Not as long as I..". He stuttered. An uneasy feeling filled him. He was afraid , lost for words. He could not talk - Not before him. "How could this be possible, i am his superior!". His reason intervened - "Only in rank!".

Tense chatters clouded the space. As the chatter grew,so did their spirits.Hope was born, all was well, all will be. Chatters receded, as cheer filled its void. They all fell silent. The sound of his footsteps, seemed to thunder. The storm after the Calm. Up a cliff, which looked a colossal podium, there climbed a man, solid as rock, carved like a statue, hands clenched, face tilted horizontal in contemplation. As their Star rose on the west, the dwarf faded in the east.

There stood their Champion.

He gave hope to all, he kept none for himself."


The last line is a dedication to you - J.R.R., or is most of the post?